


it might have been the bright sun (but it's probably your smile)

by orphan_account



Category: GOT7
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M, also mostly, and jinyoung is a little blind and pessimistic, jackson is just trying to be sweet, mostly - Freeform, we're getting a throwback to jjp in 2011
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 07:24:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13922220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Jaebum stares at the PD waiting for him to tell that it’s just a cruel joke, Jinyoung’s mind is able to think only about two things. No matter how much they both begged to be separated before they strangle each other, he and Jaebum are going to debut together – and most importantly,he and Jackson are going to get separated."





	it might have been the bright sun (but it's probably your smile)

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is around 3 years old, it's actually the first got7 fic i've ever written. and after almost 3 years of writing for the fandom on various platforms and accounts, i decided that it will be a nice throwback to see how i was writing back then, and how much it has changed. (hint: not much, maybe my sentences got longer, and stories got hella angstier lol). so don't be too harsh on this one, i tried not to edit it much, to keep the fresh feel of me in 2015

“What brings you here?”

Jinyoung, leaning against a wall in front of the management office and waiting to be called, lifts his head after stopping halfway the sentence he’s reading in progress reports. It’s a warm spring day, however the cold sweat he feels on the back of his neck has absolutely nothing to do with the weather outside.

The voice belongs to Jaebum. He’s quite the same, yet somehow different from the last time they’ve met. Black skinny jeans, a few new piercings in his ears, and light brown hair clearly in transition to become blonde – it’s not something Jinyoung would expect from Im Jaebum, who usually doesn’t wear anything else but baggy worn out jeans a little too long on him, and a hoodie, the blacker the better.

“I’m… Back.” Jinyoung mumbles, forgetting to even say hello. “I guess.” He quickly adds for some reason, as if trying to downplay his return.

It’s obviously awkward and Jinyoung can see how Jaebum’s shoulders tense up at the news, how his jaw tightens, and his eyebrow shoots up. Jinyoung doesn’t know where to keep his hands, it seems, feeling like they’ve become wooden logs desperately clutching onto papers he’s holding – but he knows that reaching his hand out for a handshake would be weird, considering how close they used to be.

Jaebum slowly nods, and it’s hard to understand what’s going through his mind. “I see.”

He doesn’t say “welcome back”, he doesn’t smile; Jaebum doesn’t say it’s good to see his friend back in training. He doesn’t even show that they _were_ friends back in the day, and Jinyoung feels a little betrayed, if that’s the right word for this situation.

It wouldn’t be right to say he doesn’t feel guilty about Jaebum’s debut getting pushed back, because in the end it _was_ Jinyoung’s fault; if only he wasn’t acting so foolishly, sneaking out of the dorms with a bunch of other trainees and breaking his leg, they probably would’ve been idols already.

But after six long months, during which they all had more than enough time to think everything through, Jinyoung decides that he doesn’t consider it being something worth ruining a friendship for.

Jaebum, clearly, doesn’t share the same sentiment.

“We have some new people in our classes, by the way, I thought I should warn you.” That’s all he says while turning to go and Jinyoung sighs, both because of how cold his former best friend sounds and at what he tells.

In this industry, “new people in our class” doesn’t mean an opportunity to meet new people and make friends. It means that someone will definitely get kicked out sooner or later after even a tiny mistake – there are too many trainees in the company already and Jinyoung, who’s been absent for twenty long weeks, is way too behind to feel secure and confident.

Management sends him to a dancing class straight away, and when Jinyoung opens the door a bunch of trainees suddenly become silent, as if they were gossiping about him a few seconds ago. He greets them with a slight nod, trying to make the voice in his head to shut up, the one that’s making him wonder what they were talking. There are some of his former team members in the room, and Jaebum, who’s standing in front of a mirror, stretching before the practice.

It feels like everyone is following his movements as Jinyoung sits down on the floor to change his shoes. He remembers seeing the brown haired guy just before all the shit went down six months ago, and when the latter turns his stare away to quickly tell something to the bunch of guys surrounding him, Jinyoung hears a heavy American accent, confirming he’s not mistaken. It’s Mark Tuan, one of the American trainees, they’ve chatted a few times.

Jinyoung has never seen one of Mark’s friends though, the one that’s now speaking so loudly and making so many hand gestures, it’s hard not to notice him. They’re clearly bantering about something and Jinyoung thinks that the stranger somehow reminds him of an overgrown puppy with too much energy to waste. When the guy cracks a lame joke in broken Korean, Jinyoung can’t help but smile too.

Time waiting for the choreographer is passing in a pace of a turtle and the stares don’t stop – Jinyoung can still feel everybody’s stares on his back. Well, except Jaebum, who’s stubbornly acting like he doesn’t see him. Those stares are pitying, pretending to know how it feels like when you already have a debut date set, but suddenly one huge fuck up happens and doctors tell you it will take around a month or two for a bone to heal and another few months of therapy.

Or maybe those stares are actually spiteful, Jinyoung’s paranoia says, maybe they’re just enjoying that you didn’t get to debut and was out for half a year, making their debut chances bigger.

“Didn’t expect to see you here this early, Jinyoung.” The choreographer rather casually disturbs his dark thoughts, and a jealous mumble from other trainees spreads across the practice room. Jinyoung has always been on good terms with all the teachers here, and he was glad that it seems like one of those rare things that hasn’t changed yet.

“Trying to catch up as much as possible.” He replies, bowing.

The lesson begins soon, but it’s far from satisfying. Even though the choreographer lets him slide easier due to his circumstances and says he’s doing quite okay for someone who hasn’t danced for this long, Jinyoung can’t help but sigh, seeing how smooth and easy everyone else’s movements are compared to his.

Even Jaebum has improved a lot, yet Jinyoung’s legs feel like they’re carved out of wood, and when the music is stopped for the fourth time after he collides with Bambam after losing his balance, he feels like crying.

“Let’s just move on to evaluations.” The choreographer sighs, obviously disappointed in what’s happening in this class. “Jinyoung, you’re going to skip the evaluations till I discuss it with your doctor and manager. Thirty minutes break for the rest of you.”

Even though it becomes a little bit easier to breathe hearing he’s free from evaluations, Jinyoung still can swear there are some trainees complaining about unfairness of the fact that he will be sitting out today. He’s not really bothered by the complaints, however – he got used to people talking behind his back ever since it was announced he and Jaebum are going to debut.

What bothers him, though, is the feeling of being completely isolated. He’s never made a lot of friends the company due to his shy and reserved personality and Jaebum probably was one of very few people Jinyoung could call friends. But the latter surely doesn’t seem like he wants to have a nice conversation to remember the good old times.

“Cheer up,” Jinyoung hears some guy’s voice behind his back. The owner of the voice hands him a bottle of water and it’s the same loud guy, Mark’s friend, whom Jinyoung noticed before the practice. “And don’t mind people talking. They’re just jealous.”

“Thanks.” Jinyoung isn’t sure what else to add, so he simply takes a sip of water, finally feeling how sweaty and drained he is. “What’s your name?”

“Call me Jackson.” The guy flashes a smile again. It somehow reminds Jinyoung of sun, shining brightly into his face.“And you’re _the_ Park Jinyoung, am I right?”

“The?” Jinyoung is surprised by the fact that Jackson knows his full name and even says it like it means something.

Jackson shrugs. “You’re quite famous here. Anyway, it’s time for me to practice a bit, I can bet I’ll be the first one going. It’s a solo task this time around, so we’re all fucked.”

Jinyoung thanks him for the water and wishes good luck, watching his rather clumsy movements as Jackson dances in front of a mirror just a few meters away from him. He can tell that Jackson still doesn’t have much experience, muscles stiff and steps frantic, so he stands up and lightly taps Jackson’s shoulder to get his attention. The latter turns to him a little surprised, but Jinyoung doesn’t explain much, just wordlessly stands behind him, correcting his posture.

“Don’t flail your arms around like you’re trying to put out a fire.” Jinyoung adds, gently lifting the trainee’s right arm so it wouldn’t be hanging so low. “This particular choreographer likes movements to be on the sharper side, but still somehow natural.”

“And how am I supposed to do that.” Jackson mumbles, wiping off sweat from his face as he’s repeating the same hand movement over and over again.

“That’s what we need to figure out on our own, I guess.” Jinyoung smiles, but his eyes don’t form the crescents he’s famous for when his smile is happy and genuine. He feels like there’s too many things he needs to figure out for himself.

Jaebum snorts at these words while passing by. Jinyoung decides to ignore it, but it still stings inside – he has apologized countless times already, but even though Jaebum never wanted to listed to it and told it’s okay, they both know it isn’t.

Unfortunately, to top everything, Jinyoung has to witness him and Mark acting like the best friends in world, while they’re preparing for evaluation. Jinyoung feels a little jealous when he sees Jaebum laughing, cracking jokes and even fixing Mark’s shirt, because he always did that to Jinyoung only, but at the same time, he understands. He has fucked up more than horribly with that broken leg of his, he wasn’t around when Jaebum needed him the most after getting to know their debut is cancelled, and Jaebum found someone to replace him with. It’s all natural.

“Okay, Wang, you’re first.” The choreographer finally says, sitting on the bench and taking a bunch of papers with him.

Jackson flashes a sarcastic smile at his words becoming true, but he’s visibly nervous and his legs are shaking a bit when he stands in front of all the trainees. Jinyoung makes a slight gesture to grab his attention and points to his arm. Jackson immediately catches the hint, and before starting his dance routine, lifts his arms up a little higher, just like Jinyoung told him earlier.

Those three minutes seem like an eternity to both Jackson and Jinyoung, until the choreographer finally says, “Not bad. You’re making some progress.”

Jackson sighs in an obvious relief before going back to his place and next is Jaebum. His movements are clean and well executed, however, Mark unnoticeably to the choreographer sitting next to Jinyoung, whispers, “He lacks passion. Hi, by the way, it’s been a long time.”

In all honesty, Jinyoung can tell where he’s coming from. The way they were taught never appealed to Jaebum, so he gets visibly bored easily, but for the sake of old friendship, he doesn’t comment on it much. “He’s doing fine.”

“Anyway,” Mark changes the topic, while the choreographer is telling Jaebum his mistakes. “He misses you.”

“Does he.” Jinyoung mumbles, not quite eager to discuss it with a person he barely knows. _Especially_ with a person who seems to have taken over his place in that friendship.

“He’s just dumb. He’ll knock it off.” Mark says, getting up because it’s his turn. Jinyoung burns his back with a bitter stare, just in case.

The evaluation ends with most of them getting average scores, Jackson, Jaebum and Mark included, and Jinyoung getting a big round zero. He will have to make up for it during the upcoming month or he can his future in the company bye bye.

After the practice, Jinyoung doesn’t even plan on leave the practice room. He tries to dance the routines alone, but the result is even worse when there’s no one to yell at him about his mistakes. So a few hours spent angrily stomping his feet and wiping his even angrier tears later, he finally takes his backpack and turns to go, thinking that he’ll return here early in the morning. Something unexpectedly falls off from his backpack though, and Jinyoung frowns seeing a small bar of chocolate under his feet, a thing he surely didn’t have with himself before.

His wild guess, a _very_ wild one, is that it’s from Jackson, since Jinyoung recalls seeing someone similar looking next to the vending machine, before the practice; maybe Jackson accidentally bought too much for himself and later simply decided to leave one for Jinyoung – the latter doesn’t have anyone else to leave him treats anyway, so he takes it as a way of Jackson thanking him for dance tips.

When he’s standing in a bus stop waiting for a bus home though, he can’t say he takes a bite of that chocolate bar without a smile.

 

Ever since that day, Jinyoung keeps finding stuff inside his backpack – either a chocolate bar, a bottle of a drink, or a simple post-it, stuck on his stuff telling him that he worked hard that day, or something along those lines.

And even though it’s somehow heartwarming, Jinyoung doesn’t understand neither how Jackson manages to pull it off – during practices they don’t have any time to even breathe and half of them, Jackson included, leave to other classes immediately after – nor why he keeps doing it. They haven’t spoken in person ever since that evaluation, they’re nowhere near to even call themselves friends— well, maybe in a broader and looser definition they are, because Jackson is friends with everyone, including the janitors of the place.

Jackson probably knows that Jinyoung is aware of his little presents, but none of them speak about it, leaving this situation flow naturally.

“You’re still here?” Jackson asks once, surprised by Jinyoung, who’s still dancing like crazy despite the clock showing way past 1 AM. He’s holding a box of cookies which most probably are supposed to find its place in Jinyoung's backpack again. “I thought you left.”

It’s an obvious lie, but Jinyoung smiles, wiping sweat off his forehead. “So you thought it’s a great time to try seeing if I left anything behind so you could sneak some cookies into my things?”

Jackson knows that his quickly created lie has some major holes in it – he actually saw Jinyoung going to the bathroom earlier, so he decided to take the chance, but one of the senior trainees stopped him to chat and Jinyoung must’ve returned. All he says instead of this whole bunch of complications is, “How’s your dancing?”

Jinyoung’s lip corners tug up even more at this expert-level topic change, but he doesn’t pressure the guy. “Better, though I’m still way behind. But you know all that, you’ve heard what they say.”

“You’re dancing just fine, to me, you’re like the second bet dancer.” Jackson enthusiastically assures and it makes Jinyoung laugh.

It’s too obvious that Jackson would say anything to make people feel better. Just like that time when Mark almost cried in vocal class after getting scolded for going off pitch – Jackson then said that Mark shouldn’t worry, because he’s better than most of the so-called future main vocals. Mark started laughing, so the situation was more or less saved, but they all knew he was laughing not because he felt better, but at how stupid that statement was.

“When’s the evaluation for you?” Jackson asks.

“Soon, I guess. Management told me that the CEO himself wants to see me in his office by the end of this month, so I don’t expect much. Either I will be placed with beginners again, or I will be kicked out permanently.”

“Your pessimism will kill you one day, you know.”

Jinyoung doesn’t respond to this and gets back in front of the mirror. Much to his surprise, Jackson stays with him throughout the night, and Jinyoung eventually starts questioning why he’s not going back to the dorm. Jackson doesn’t seem to be willing to give answers, though.

Instead, the entire time Jinyoung is dancing, he keeps telling random things. Jinyoung actually barely hears it because of the music, but it still distracts him a little. Not in a bad way, he must admit.

Eventually he learns that Jackson is from Hong Kong, only a few months older than him. He joined the company a few months ago, while Jinyoung was still absent due to his leg. He also was the captain of their national fencing team, what Jinyoung finds really cool, but Jackson brushes it off like it’s not really a big accomplishment. After a particularly long piece of Jackson’s monologue, Jinyoung finds himself sitting next to the guy on the floor and talking about himself in exchange.

They’re a lot more similar than it might seem from the first glance, they must agree, but after finishing telling a sappy story how he lost his pet goldfish in fifth grade, Jinyoung returns to the original topic.

“Why do you keep doing that? Giving me all that stuff?”

“Just trying to be nice to everyone, and if it makes you smile, why not?” Jackson dodges a direct answer. But Jinyoung notices his rosy cheeks and he also is almost sure that Jackson hasn’t left anything to anyone else.

“How do you know it makes me smile?” Jinyoung teases.

“When I entered the practice room now, I saw you slightly smiling at me, so.”

It’s Jinyoung’s turn to blush a little, taking a mental reminder to control his face next time. He soon snaps out of it, changing the topic to something completely different, and they get carried away, spending the entire night chatting about things instead of Jinyoung’s practice.

 

It happens a lot of times, _too many times_ for Jinyoung to pretend that it’s not getting weird.

He tells Jackson everything, Jackson tells him everything too. Hugs, jokes, deep conversations in the middle of the night while sharing their dreams and insecurities, Jackson nagging at him to make up with Jaebum, all the heart emojis Jackson sends to him with his messages – everything starts to seem weird to Jinyoung, but at the same time, it feels natural, and the confusion leaves him no clue what to do about it.

One early morning Jinyoung wakes up more from an unbearable backache, caused by sleeping leaning against a wall, rather than getting enough hours of sleep, and he assumes that at one point he and Jackson just passed out in the practice room yet again. The clock on the wall shows 7:30 AM, meaning that after a bit more than an hour or so he needs to be in the PD’s office.

His eyes trace Jackson’s face as the latter is soundly sleeping while resting his head in Jinyoung’s lap. Jinyoung doesn’t find it in himself to wake him up yet, so he spends another half an hour not moving, just thinking about various things – about his future, about the upcoming meeting, until his thoughts are interrupted by the doors of the room flying open.

Jinyoung sees Jaebum and Mark, the latter is cursing and talking with someone over the phone in English. Jinyoung with his limited language skills can tell that Mark said something along the lines of “I found him” and “they’re both dead”, and flashes a questioning stare at them.

“What’s going on?” he asks, as silently as possible in attempt not to wake Jackson up. Not that it’s needed – the guy is still sleeping like it’s nothing, even when Mark throws series of curses.

“Jackson didn’t come back to the dorm last night and our floor had a surprise inspection.” Jaebum answers instead. Jinyoung has forgotten that inspections are still a thing, he moved out from the dorm after his trauma.

“He was here the entire night, practicing.” Jinyoung swiftly lies and Jackson finally wakes up. For a while he looks at the scene not quite understanding what’s going on. “I can tell it to the manager if needed, I was here all night too.”

“Too late.” Mark replies, seeing right through the lie. “We already got penalties.”

“What did you get?”

“A stricter curfew. No more free weekends for three months.” Jaebum’s words are followed by a curse, but Jinyoung doesn’t bring himself to care – his guts are tying into a knot, because the clock is ticking way too fast.

Jinoyung’s head starts to hurt listening to Jackson telling sorry every few seconds and even tearing up, because he thinks that the entire trainee dormitory plainly hates him now. It turns into a weird scene of Mark awkwardly patting Jackson’s shoulder and telling it’s okay, and Jaebum looking disgusted by such emotion overload this early in the morning.

“Get up.” Jaebum’s commanding voice makes Jinyoung look at him. “They have a dance practice and we have a meeting in the office, so we should hurry.”

“ _We_?”

“Yeah. I thought you knew.”

Jinyoung stands up without any other words – obviously nobody told him that Jaebum’s coming along. They leave together and somewhere in amidst Jackson still mumbling “good luck” despite tearing up and wondering what’s going on, Jinyoung breathes out a bit in easy, as it feels like it won’t be a full, true evaluation after all.

Perhaps Jackson is right – maybe there’s no need to be so scared and expect the worst.

The PD greets them with a bunch of terrible dad jokes, which they politely smile at; Jinyoung raises his eyebrows a little, unnoticeably, when he sees usually fearless Jaebum becoming a stiff mute coward in front of authorities, but soon his thoughts are interrupted.

“We have been monitoring your progress for a while, especially yours, Jinyoung.”

The said guy only nods, not sure if he should say something or not, so he decides to keep silent and see where it will take them all. His jaw drops open in a few seconds, though.

“We decided to stick to our previous plan of debuting you as a duo. Considering you already have begun recording your album a while back, I estimate you should be read in an upcoming month or two. Congratulations, a lot of people wish they could be in your place. The company has great expectations.”

The office becomes so silent, you could almost hear a fly passing by. Jaebum stares at the PD waiting for him to tell that it’s just a cruel joke, Jinyoung’s mind is able to think only about two things. No matter how much they both begged to be separated before they strangle each other, he and Jaebum are going to debut together – and most importantly, _he and Jackson are going to get separated._

The boss ushers them out of office to go practice, telling he’ll send all the details about their to do list to one of the managers, and both guys leave the office in silence, being completely stunned by the unexpected news. They meet Jackson and Mark outside holding some papers – Jinyoung and Jaebum were in the office long enough that the morning dance class already ended; Jackson is the first one to open his mouth.

“How did it go?” he asks, but before any of them say a word, he waves the papers he’s holding. “We have some news too!”

“What news?” Jinyoung asks, trying to put on a weak smile in attempt to win some time before he needs to deliver the news.

“We’re transferring to the advanced dancing class. The teacher thought we’re suitable to learn stunts, flips, all that cool stuff.”

“Good job.” Jinyoung tells, but his mind isn’t there with them. It hurts, but at the same time it’s relieving – Jackson being in a higher dancing class means that they would’ve been bound to separate anyway. Jinyoung might be an above decent dancer, but the advanced class is left only in his wildest dreams.

“What about you though? What did JYP tell you?” Jackson presses on, throwing his arm around Jinyoung’s shoulders almost jumping from enthusiasm.

Jinyoung coughs a little, because words are still stuck in his throat, but he finally manages to breathe out. “We… I and Jaebum are going to debut.”

An awkward silence follows, making Jinyoung’s heart stop, and then Jackson almost screeches in joy, pulling Jinyoung a hug so tight, the latter feels like his ribs are about to break.

 “Congratulations! I knew that _the_ Park Jinyoung will show what he’s made from!” Jackson laughs and his words seem to echo through the entire corridor. “I’m going to be your number 1 fan. You’re definitely giving me a special backstage pass, and of course, I’m going to be the first person you’re going to send a signed album to.”

That makes a big contrast with Mark’s indifferent, barely audible _“Oh.”_ he throws to Jaebum. The latter spends most of this encounter with his eyes darted at the ground, before Jackson pulls into a hug him too and then says sorry that they can’t chat any longer, because they need to get a new schedule for dancing lessons.

After a few moments Jinyoung and Jaebum are the only ones standing in the corridor again. Just two of them, for a long, long time.

“We made it,” Jaebum finally mumbles, but for some reason he doesn’t seem extremely happy either.

“Yeah.”

Jaebum silently says, “Listen… I’m sorry if was acting like an ass before. I guess those cancelled debut plans really hit me in the head, and you moved out, so I couldn’t think properly. And I’m not using Mark as a replacement for you, contrary to the rumors, in case you’re wondering.”

“It’s okay,” Jinyoung replies a little weirded out. He never even knew that there were rumors like that, perhaps because Jackson never allowed any of them to reach him. “It was my fault anyway.”

“It wasn’t. I liked to think so, but injuries can happen to everyone. And we weren’t even ready to debut back then anyway. So, friends again?”

He reaches his hand out and Jinyoung shakes it, feeling Jaebum’s comforting patting on his back. The older guy was never a man of many words, so Jinyoung feels much more from his touch than from his speech.

So everything’s back to normal again, at least for a while, but he doesn’t feel any better - for the rest of the day he can’t think about anything else but Jackson.

It feels weird, since they were both trainees and the unwritten rule no. 1 clearly told not to get attached to anyone here, because people come and go and it will be too hard to separate later, and Jinyoung _always followed the rules_. But there was something different about that Chinese guy, something that Jinyoung couldn’t point out. Something that made him _want_ to break the rules.

“Why you’re not with everybody else, celebrating?” he hears Jackson’s voice behind him in the evening, when he shuts himself in the dance room yet again, trying sweat out his emotions. “Jaebum is throwing a party in 11th floor.”

“I need to improve my dancing,” he replies. Hand to the right, jump, kick, turn to the left – these are the movements that Jinyoung mastered from the very first day, yet somehow now he keeps slipping, falling and cursing.

“You’re going to get hurt,” Jackson gently stops him, when Jinyoung kicks his backpack across the entire room. “What’s wrong?”

Jinyoung just plops on the ground, trying to catch his breath, “Nothing.”

“I may be stupid, but I know when you’re sad,” Jackson slightly smiles, sitting next to him. Jinyoung gets surprised, because any other person would probably say that he is just angry, not _sad_ , but Jackson seems like he can read him too easily.

“You’re not stupid.”

“Don’t avoid the question.”

“I’m not sad, Jackson,” he tries to get himself out of situation placing his head on Jackson’s shoulder to distract him, but the latter isn’t buying it.

“Park Jinyoung, I thought we agreed to tell each other everything and don’t you dare to avoid it with these cheap tricks. You can keep your head on my shoulder, though, I feel special when you do this.”

Jinyoung giggles a bit, but his smile soon disappears.

“So?” Jackson asks. “What’s the problem?”

“My debut,” Jinyoung almost whispers, as if he’s being afraid that if he says the word “debut” out loud it will instantly make Jackson disappear.

“How’s that a problem?” Jackson continues his interrogation. He clearly saw that Jinyoung wasn’t happy after the meeting, but he couldn’t figure out why a _debut_ , the goal of thousands of trainees all over Korea, could bother someone.

At first Jinyoung doesn’t want to tell the reason, because he’s afraid that Jackson doesn’t feel the same way or that he will tell he’s stupid, but seeing Jackson’s dark brown eyes staring at him with such concern, he finally gives in.

“I don’t want to debut, because we will have to separate.”

“You’re crazy,” Jackson says after a pause and Jinyoung bitterly smiles. So Jackson doesn’t get it, just like he thought. “There’s no way I’m letting you chicken out because of me.”

“I’m not chickening out,” Jinyoung sighs. “It’s just… Look. I’m not really good with words, but during these months we became really close and I… I just don’t want to separate.”

Jackson looks at him, worries written all over his face. He can’t let Jinyoung give up on being an idol just because he got attached to him, he can’t do this, no matter how actually he _would_ want that.

“I’m switching classes, we wouldn’t meet anyway,” Jackson says, trying to remain rational.

“I can dance like crazy 24/7 and enter the advanced class, too,” Jinyoung enthusiastically tells, but Jackson just shakes his head.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You need to save your health.”

Jinyoung tries again, “We still have the same vocal class.”

“I’m quitting vocal classes next week. I think I will be trained to be a rapper,” it seems like the entire world is against them meeting somewhere in the company.

Jinyoung curses and lies down on the floor, facing the ceiling. He cannot count the times he spent his nights with Jackson like that, just lying on the floor and talking about everything instead of practicing. And now when he realizes those times will probably never come back…

“Jinyoung, you don’t need to worry about me,” Jackson says, tracing ornaments on his palm. “You deserve this opportunity, and if you need to leave things behind, I’m okay with it if there’s at least a tiny bit of possibility of you being successful.”

If there was one Jinyoung hates about Jackson, it’s his kindness.

He wants Jackson to get mad, jealous, to throw a bitch fit about him debuting. To say that he’s going to fuck every Jinyoung’s rehearsal up so he wouldn’t be able to debut. But instead Jackson just lies next to him, blabbering something about how he will try to visit him in broadcasting stations, how he will vote on shows and stuff.

“If you’re so willing to see me every day, move back into the dorm,” Jackson says, seeing that Jinyoung won’t calm down so easily. “I’m sure Jaebum’s room still has some space for you.”

“Doesn’t he live with Mark now?” Jinyoung asks. He always assumed this, because they seemed to be together _everywhere_. Even during the evaluations, they always paired up together, if needed.

Jackson laughs, “No. Mark lives with me, I thought I told you this a lot of times. Jaebum refused to live with anyone else, so the staff eventually gave up and all this time he lived alone.”

Jinyoung wonders what else he still doesn’t know, but moving back somehow doesn’t seem such a bad idea. Back then, he moved out because he couldn’t stand Jaebum’s blaming stares, but now everything seems fine and besides, _Jackson lives on the same floor_.

“You have to debut,” Jackson’s words echoe in the practice room, as Jinyoung without even realizing, snuggles in Jackson’s embrace.

For a while they just lie like that, but eventually Jinyoung feels a light peck on his cheek. It tickles and Jinyoung smiles just like the first time met when he helped Jackson out.

This time, however, his eye corners form these particular wrinkles, and Jackson can tell without even looking that Jinyoung for the very first time in ages finally feels happy.

**Author's Note:**

> the rest of the guys weren't mentioned because they simply weren't in the company at the time the story is taking place. excuse all the typos i might've left, it's 4 am. and i hope you found this readable. comments are super appreciated!


End file.
